Whatever little success, and lack of, I've had in life I owe, no matter who was in my corner encouraging me to persevere, to myself and how hard I've worked. And this is something that is a little harder to swallow. Because sometimes I literally just can't be bothered, and I make no excuses and keep no secrets about it - my ability to procrastinate about certain situations is second to none! I've wasted whole days thinking about all the things I need to do, just like I put of a university assignment (back in the day). It's not as I've been in my early to mid-twenties have I looked back and really though "wtf were you doing?! Just get it done!"
Reflecting back on the last two and a bit decades, spending habits aside, I've been pretty bad at certain things, my biggest regret - a word I use in the loosest of terms because it's not something I tend to say I have - is letting procrastinating. My younger self was always looking for a way to get out of doing something, the teenager in me became lazy, and now the adult in me (up until this point at least) has previously procrastinated about 85% of the time. Let's just say shit's not been done because of it, and this brings me on to the title of this post.
Now I’m skating ever-closer to the big 25, WTH?!, I'm conscious of the fact that, whilst I might be in a pretty decent position in life, I want to be one of the 20-somethings that at the very least appear to have their shit together. I WANT TO OWN A HOUSE, HAVE A CAR ON THE DRIVE, GO ON ALL THE HOLIDAYS AND HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK YO! All of which is easier said than done - millennials are the worst-off financially and can't get the on the property ladder and blah blah blah; story for another day - but it is what I want.
My problem comes in the form of I’ve been putting off even thinking of a game plan to achieve this. Why? Partly because I’m complacent, but mostly because I’m comfortable and have been making every excuse under the sun to not have to think about it.
It’s such a detrimental action, and you can go years, as I have, before you even finally wake up and realise just how much time you’ve actually wasted. In some cases, you may not even notice. The problematic side effect of putting things off is: eventually you’re going to have to either deal with it anyway, but have less time, or play catch up. If you go down the route of doing the latter, there’s every chance you either refuse to accept it’s a “YOU” problem, and rather believe the odds were stacked against you, or unwillingly find you may have missed opportunities. Both of which I admit I have done, and neither of which are fun I might add.
I’ve had my fair share of breakdowns. I’ve compared myself and situation, knowing full well that not everyone’s circumstances are the same and some people worked bloody hard for what they have. I’ve done my fair share of Instagram stalking, I still do… we all do. But, and it may have taken me a while, I’ve also taken responsibility for my actions; and lack of.
I can say for certain that I’ve lost days at a time to countless Netflix binges, and God knows that, in far too many circumstances, “tomorrow” just never comes. In all honesty, if I could go back and kick myself up the arse I probably would. I know that the choices I've made have put me on this path, whatever that even is. A side effect of procrastination but I feel like I've somewhat fallen at the first hurdle and playing catch-up to make it back in the 'race'.
Sometimes you gotta switch off the TV *feels heart break a little* and put the phone down, or at least try to, more often, damn these smart phones (jk I love my iPhone but it’s mad addictive). I can work from home pretty easy, but it’s time to reclaim the day, and stop putting absolutely everything on the back burner for a ‘chill day’. Lord knows I hate stressing about ‘last minute’ things.
It’s time to reclaim the day.
I’ve never been one for ‘about me’ pages so let's keep it short and sweet: I'm 25 (so I guess you could assume I'm going through a quarter-life crisis), London-based, love food, oh, and partial to a rum-based drink... or just the rum tbh.